Your Birthday Gift

 

 

( This poem was not written to be put on this  blog…. I just wrote it for my friend Yashi as it was her birthday and I had nothing to give her …. but just wat I have )

 I stand with an upturned lip
I stare at my slanting feet
I thought I’ll give you the best gift
Alas! I feel lost in the mist

Of broken smiles and powdered faces
Of compressed sighs and shackled graces

And a tear trickles down my glazed eyes
Leaving a trail of charred cries

It lurks in a corner
I wait to take it back with me
It’s invisible among tinsel wrappers
And glitter of fashionable philosophy

I had thought I’ll give you the best gift
But then the child in me is cruel indeed

No one told me what you like
Honestly I did not care inside
I painted a face
As I see yours in an embrace
Marveling at its accuracy
I completely forgot its utility

Now I feel ashamed
Something in me has been unwillingly framed
If only I had thought
What would appeal and what not
My gift would have starred
This movie starring labels of all sorts

But does it count?
What matters? My reality or your frown
I only wanted to give you the best gift
Now I take it back, away from such intricacies

Your Heart In Mine

I’ll tell you a secret,
The bud in the bud,
The flame in the flame,
The pure in the purity,
I carry your heart,
I carry it in mine,

I never wanted to be redeemed from your embrace,
Never wanted to harm you, instead harm myself,
Never challenged the intensity of your emotion, instead found myself powerless,
Never attempted to overcome the spell you cast on me,
My shadow weak, spirit is feeble, the soul out of control,

I hear the echo of the last words you said, as my essence cries for deliverance,
I cannot make your troubles sublime,
I cannot make your wishes come true,
I can attempt to make you stronger,
At the cost of this weak shadow,
Of this feeble spirit.
Of the unrestrained soul.

I can tell you that I am the flower, I am the candle, I am the untainted,
And you my dear are the bud, the flame and the pure.
The perception of your illusion makes me delusional and surreal
Pensive I am through the night, and bizarre by day.
I wait patiently.
In the grooves of my mind, I walk through the palatial halls of your heart,
Trapped and ensnared in this hollowness.
For all of time.

I carry your heart.
I carry it in my heart.

Velvet Desire

Snow is falling
Across the mire
The valley is clothed
In a velvet desire

Wind blames me
Solitude claims me

Mist is recovering

Vision is blocked

 Like a spirit of never ending beauty
You come
Bathing the place, in your heavenly grace

Vapours of mist engulf everything
And in this nothingness
Nothing is forbidden

Cold . Numb .
Astonished . Mortified.
I get up
Blinking blankly
Looking at myself , in your eyes.

Pain burning away
I shrink within myself

Cloaked in the mantle of dismay
I close my eyes
Surrendering. Away from the numbness
Before my end claims me
I beg for a final touch
Embrace me
In the warmth of your scarlet lips

Dream Of Delusion

[Dream]
Under the moonlight
I see her face
As the mist descends on us
We embrace
And it rains
I watch her fade away
Yet from another dream I awake

[Reality]
I cannot see
I cannot feel
I cannot love
I cannot live
I have to be in my dream, not reality

[Delusion]
Under the moonlight
I see her dying face
As the coil wraps around us
We embrace
And it rains
I feel melting away
Waiting for me to jerk awake

But this is not a dream…

-Xtronus